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(no subject) [Dec. 20th, 2009|06:56 pm]

Humans have long suspected that memory begins in the womb. There have been theories that how a child is born can effect its personality permanently; we have believed that intrapartum asphyxia can cause social anxiety, or an unconscious mother or inattentive midwife could cause fear of abandonment, for example. Both our peoples now consider this pseudoscience, but we have developed a complicated obstetrics culture, involving mandatory caesarean sections and finely crafted ceremonial forceps and ventouses. This has given us a divergent sense of self, but more because of constant pondering of bodily removal than repressed memories of childbirth.

When a human child is hungry it cries. When its mother presents food it believes it has cried the food into existence. Then it grows to think that the mother exists to do it's bidding, like an appendage, and it progresses down a path to the realization that nothing but its self is controllable. I'm not sure if all of you make it there, but we have no problem with it. We have technicians (never seen by our young) who anticipate hunger and place food in a spot on the floor of the infant's play area. This encourages exploration and self efficacy. I find that humans act as if the mental and physical self were detached. We see each of us as unified and singular. We are people, you are bodies with people inside them.

The introspection illusion is what causes humans to see faults and biases in others and not in themselves. We lack this, and thus never developed a democratic system of government. We are governed by what you'd think of as focus groups. Tony Blair tried something close to this. Most people polled didn't want any money spent on rail maintenance. Then there were two high-profile rail disasters in a month, and the next poll had people asking why the tracks were in such poor shape.

I almost forgot; when you point to yourselves, you point to somewhere on the chest. Why is that?
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Tonight I am the world's biggest Craig Ferguson fan. [Nov. 20th, 2009|02:25 am]
It occurs to me that no one actually uses LiveJournal anymore, my friends page is just pictures and Momus' blog. I think writing here is the equivalent of a composition notebook at this point.

Yesterday I tried to deposit all the change I've saved up, $16.50, and put it into the bank account I opened a few months ago, against my better judgment. There should have been $10 in there, making all the money I have $26.50. As it happens when I tried to put money on my monthly pre-paid phone last week it went through twice, for reasons unknown (or unknowable), and I got charged twice my bill and an over draft fee. So I deposited all my actual money and wound up with negative fifty dollars. C'est la vie. (I haven't paid my rent in months. Like, maybe half a year. I could be evicted without notice at any moment.) Partially because of this I didn't sleep last night. I played Heroes of Might and Magic V instead. This is the effect stress has on me.

This morning my mother came by. Knocked on my bed room door and let herself in, unexpected, as per usual. She stayed for five hours and told me this outrageous story about how a 40+ year old woman from her shelter had sex with a 20 something man in the parking lot of a Pearle Vision. She had heard there were videos on YouTube, but I couldn't find any. She also still thinks she might be getting unemployment pay after leaving her job without giving reason or notice. If that happens she says I can go back to Quincy College and get my associates in art and their surgery tech certificate in a year and a half, or two. This is what psychiatrists call "magical thinking". In any event, in two weeks she is moving out of the shelter to a group home.


I applied for a "personal assistant" job weeks ago. The emails I was getting from this character made me think it was too good to be true pretty quickly. Today in the mail I got two money orders for $990 each. The idea is I cash them and send part of the money to some other address. Luckily I'm not totally fucking retarded and realized they were counterfeit and I'm liable for the money if I cash them. I might frame them. The novelty astounds me.

Today I also got in the mail a recipe for blackened catfish and a packet of catfish rub from Sandra. I Thank you, wholeheartedly, and that is not a word I use every day. The biggest thing I've had to do for the past month (other than getting a job, of course) is finishing the shit I have to do to keep getting food stamps. Everyday I either call them and there's no answer, or I find some stupid fucking reason to not follow through. I'm not really clear on the process of these things, so I find myself paralyzed by the thought of it. A few months ago I could have walked into FoodMaster and taken anything I wanted, but all I spent it on was grilled cheeses and strudels.

Peter is going to Thailand for nine months soon, we've been hanging out. Two days ago I found that Jed's little black box in the living room still picks up a signal, even though there was that digital television whatever. Tonight we watched 30 Rock in real time for the first time. For my birthday Peter gave me a malt and Jed gave me some vodka. Thank you.

Two nights in a row I've watched Craig Ferguson's monologue. Why did none of my television viewing friends tell me what a genius he is? I think I'm going to do a few more entries during my birthday events. I've had some critters planned for a while. I am obviously overtired and drunk. 'Night.
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I had almost forgotten what warez were called. [Apr. 28th, 2009|05:37 pm]
[Current Location |2000]
[I am hearing |I just deleted MusicMatch Jukebox!]

My computer, after 8 years of proudly rocking a pre-release, non-sevice pack-able, pirated-before-Napster version of Windows XP Professional, finally fell to a virus. For a few days things would get more unstable than usual, but the virus scanners I could run didn't pick up anything. Then random things started getting corrupted, and before I knew it I couldn't do anything even in safe mode. Luckily I have held on to my bullshit HP system recovery discs for the past 9 years, so I'm now using Windows ME with the factory settings and trying to bittorrent a new operating system. No new video drivers, no nothing but the bare essentials and the retarded cartoon scientist on the desktop trying to get me to use AOL 5.


The novelty is palpable.
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Google Image Search: 'Your search - "amorphous mass of viscera" - did not match any documents. ' [Apr. 22nd, 2009|05:32 pm]
[I am hearing |Connie Francis - My Yiddishe]

Rant time!

Unlike most people, I am frequently disappointed with the amount of information of the internet. The total let down that serves as my subject heading got me thinking about this and I'm in the mood to write. I keep trying to read about transhumanism, but I'm disgusted by its human-centricity. I am frustrated with the notion that there aren't ideas that can't (not "haven't", but "can't") be thought. Or maybe I'm frustrated that people are debilitatingly fixated on the fact that they are people. It's as if with everyone Earth, except the handful of countries that don't allow the internet, we're still only capable of putting out a fraction of the ideas possible. I'm finding the human condition very confining, I mean. I always had this notion of human behavior being just subtly different from that ofother animals. Ignoring the scale and complexity with which we do things, we still just eat and stay warm and get in fights and pick nits out of each others' hair and shit. When I first read about behaviorism I was mildly offended. I think I was a Marxist, or something. But nowadays I'm thinking that everything everyone does and thinks is boring and predictable. Behaviorism has given way to cognitive psychology, and I find it just as pessimistic.

"The only way out is to go way out." I wish I knew how to express this better than through an over-tired, terse and opaque motherfucking livejournal entry. Maybe if I stayed in school I would know that people have expressed this somewhere other than vague themes in the Tzimisce from Vampire: the Masquerade, but that's how the cookie crumbles. I'm going to make it a point to over think every even mildly interesting idea I have, study everything about it and distill it, even if it comes out only making sense to me. Maybe it will be new and cool, unlike this one. Too obtuse! I'm either finally drifting into schizotypal psychosis or merely becoming an artist. Only concrete thing in this entry: I just got a job as a third shift cytopreparatory technician. It isn't as glamorous as it sounds.

Point is, do you know what I mean?
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(no subject) [Feb. 23rd, 2009|08:38 pm]
[I am hearing |Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero (found out about this in the waiting room)]

Upon seeing your planet I wept at how you treat information. Throwing it away with careless abandon, and some of your towns don't even have libraries! Where I am from every idea and work is precious and enshrined. You have scientific and medical journals, but I didn't see a single one at Store 24. I bought each periodical they had. We'll make an exhibit out it. Sarcastically.

Most of us spend weekends at museums, or visiting cemeteries. They are rather similar, actually. Our cemeteries contain the life stories of the deceased, as told by themselves and their loved ones, but each is his own editor. We dread the prospect of dying without our memorial records completed.

Also, we are far ahead of you in the fields of anesthesia, climate control, and logistics management. However, it never occurred to us to develop a computer programming language beyond machine code. I'd bring back a higher level language, but half of us would be out of work.

I recently read that the U.S. military has been struggling with data proliferation since the 70's. Get a set of balls.

In other news, I saw a dentist today for the first time in at least eight years. Part of a tooth fell out and I spent the weekend in grievous pain. I'm on a pain killer called diflunisal right now. I'm going to have a root canal, if they pull it it's going to expose my sinuses and I'd need surgery to move them. They can actually do that! It's all very exciting.
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(no subject) [Dec. 31st, 2008|08:20 am]
Can anyone get me an invite to ffffound.com? I will be an indisposable community member.

I know about weheartit.com, but I don't really heart it.
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This question has not been answered yet. [Dec. 28th, 2008|06:53 am]
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(no subject) [May. 2nd, 2008|03:49 pm]
[I am feeling |gloomygloomy]
[I am hearing |William S. Burroughs - What Keeps Mankind Alive?]


EGYPT — Violent protests this week over soaring food prices left one dead and 15 injured.

HAITI — Five people were killed and about 20 injured in a week of protests, including an attack on U.N. peacekeepers.

CAMEROON — Violent food riots in February claimed 40 lives, and protests continue this month.

BURKINA FASO — A general strike is called this week over rising food prices, after protests earlier this year led to hundreds of arrests.

PHILIPPINES — The government beefs up security at rice warehouses to prevent theft and hoarding.

JORDAN — U.N. aid workers stage a one-day strike for more pay to cover food and fuel price increases.
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"Strong work." [Mar. 19th, 2008|08:45 pm]
[I am feeling |gloomygloomy]
[I am hearing |Teen Cthulhu - Ready the Guillotine]

As I left work at SEIU Local 615 I saw a woman in a berka get arrested for protesting outside of a military recruiting station.
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(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2008|12:52 am]

Hey there, I am Gigby Raption, a sophomore foreign relations major. My people have very short lifespans, which was compensated by females producing 2 litters a year with large numbers of children. When we became the dominant species on our planet the population boomed quickly, and through progressive legislation higher education was made available to everyone. Most of us do not graduate until we are nearing the end of our lives. Our history and mathematics professors have taken the reigns of society, abstractly calculating decisions in a classroom setting. My brother, Rippily Raption, was interested in meteorology but became a futurology major, and his thesis on the optimism bias was very well received. He theorized that a totally abstracted "ivory tower" society can not address every facet of life. Unaccounted variables may gradually become our ruin, as we focus our short lives on specific pursuits, otherwise we feel we have done nothing. Posterity is important to us.
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